Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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