I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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