I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Like sorry your dick wonβt suck itself?
Randomize