Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Vodka?
Forever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
