Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
