I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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