Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
