Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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