I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize