Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
