your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
