peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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