Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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