why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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