Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize