Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
