I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
