you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
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FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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