I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
