Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
