respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Barsexuality is the new black.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
