If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
