Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
