:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
