ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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