I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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