I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
