So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
