I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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