i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
