The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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