my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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