forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
