The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
