puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
