He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
