His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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