just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize