she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
