i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
