i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
