Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Jerry, you need to find god
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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