We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
