what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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