oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
