I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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