You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
