Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
