marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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