Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm like, not good at living.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
