After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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