I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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