Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The air was thick with penises
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize