if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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