if i can run in heels then i can drive
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
