A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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