I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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