I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And then he peed in my hair
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
